It was only a kiss
by ErurainiaLai
Summary: Dean and Cas had been a couple for the last 2 and half years of highschool, until of course Cas had caught Dean with Lisa. High school AU, Fluff/Angst Warning.


**Authors notes: **I haven't forgotten about my other story don't worry its just this came to me and its 2am and it just happened. I hope you like it.

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Dean and Castiel had been going out for the last two and a half year's, which was the majority of the highschool year, though that was until Lisa. Cas had caught the two of them together and freaked. He'd skipped school, stopped talking to people and more importantly pretended Dean didn't exist.

That had lasted two weeks. The next few weeks after that Cas was quiet. He started spending more time with his friend Balthazar, who within a week had acquired the title of boyfriend. Cas was finally starting to feel better. That was until his teacher had grouped him with Dean for a project, making him have to go to Dean's house.

When Castiel knocked, he didn't have to wait long for Dean too answer. Leaning against the door frame Dean stood with his trademark smile looking straight at Cas.

"Hey Cas, How you been?"

Pushing past him and into the house he almost hissed his response to Dean.

"How do you think? Where are we doing this project."

Cas had been to this house many times over the years and the warm and welcoming atmosphere it held was gone. It felt cold now. Somewhere he didn't care to be.

"In my room, If that's okay?"

The smaller teen was already walking up the stairs with Dean just trailing after him. It was strange. He was used to seeing Dean full of confidence, but now he was more like some lost puppy.

Sitting on the bed and dumping his bag to one side, he watched as Dean shuffled from foot to foot before he finally spoke.

"Cas before we get this project done, I have to explain something and you have to let me alright?"

He knew this was coming really. He'd expected it really and he was no way ready for this yet. With a sigh he waved his hand in gesture for Dean to continue.

"I know things ended badly between us and I know I messed up big time, but you wouldn't even let me near you to explain. Me and Lisa, it was a one time thing. I don't know it just happened, I mean I don't commit well and there was you and I realised and I ran and I messed it up. I'm sorry."

Cas kept his eyes fixed on the wall behind Dean, determined to stay strong, but he still saw as Dean ran a hand over his eyes, his voice only just above a whisper now.

"I really miss you man."

He was so desperate to tell Dean he missed him too. To run over there and hold him tight and not let go. But he'd hurt Cas so bad. So he took a deep breath,dropping his gaze to his hands and told Dean what he'd rehearsed.

"It's too late. I'm with Balthazar now."

"That dick?"

Cas could feel Dean staring at him from across the room, but he couldn't bring himself to look up and meet his eyes.

"We were together for like over two years and you cut me off completely and just find some other guy? That hurts man."

He almost seethed at that. That hurt him? How about finding the guy you loved up against the school slut. Okay that was harsh, Lisa wasn't a slut, but he still hated her for taking Dean away from him.

"He was my friend, not some guy."

Castiel found himself getting angry by the second, until he found himself all but spitting out his words to Dean.

"We _were_ together for over two years and you throw it all away because of some girl? _That_ hurts"

"Yeah, I made a freaking mistake. I realised I cared to freaking much it scared me and I ran,because that's what i do!"

All he could here in the room was the sound of both of their heavy breathing, until he heard Dean speak again. He looked up for a split second and he was just staring at the floor.

"Do you like him more than you liked me Cas...?"

No. That was impossible Cas loved Dean with all his heart he was sure he did. But Dean had hurt him. Hurt him so bad he wasn't sure any more.

"I don't know. You hurt me Dean, I- I thought I lov- It doesn't matter, I'm with him"

He had to keep saying that to himself. He couldn't let Dean sweep him away again like nothing had happened. He was starting to heal and Dean just wasn't being fair.

"I know and I'm really freaking sorry. Let me make it up to you. Please just give me another chance here."

"I- I can't Dean, I can't, I can't go through that again"

God he was starting to stutter he was breaking he knew he was. It was then he heard Dean walk over to him and kneel down, though Castiel kept his eyes on his knee's refusing to look at Dean at all.

"I ran because i figured something out. I figured out I love you Cas. You've gotta give me a second chance here. You won't go through that again. I promise."

Not now. He wasn't allowed to spring that on him now, not after all this. Dean loved him and maybe he was starting to understand just how much love hurts.

"I can't, it- it wouldn't be fair on Balthazar"

Dean was slient for a moment and Cas almost looked at him wondering what was happening when he heard and audible gulp. Cas would have thought he was crying if it wasn't for the fact he looked up at him with an empty smile. Quickly he averted his eyes back to his knees.

"Can't say I didn't try... I don't suppose i can get one last kiss? for old time sake?"

He couldn't.

"I- I don't... I don't think that would be such a good idea"

Not now.

"Then a hug? Or you know, you could at least look at me or something."

He had to get out. Now.

"I'm sorry Dean but I- I should go, this, it's too difficult"

Cas made a move to get up and dodge round Dean but he wasn't quick enough. Dean caught him by his wrist and held it tight until he looked up at him.

"So you're going to run away too? That's how this whole freaking mess happened in the first place."

"Don't you **dare** try and blame me for this. Now let me go."

He found himself snapping at Dean, not that it was needed. Dean mumbled quietly and apology and let his arm go gently. Cas was about to leave again, when he heard Dean's voice, or at least a mono-toned version of his voice.

"I tried to fix this, but I can see you don't want it fixed. I was stupid and it was my fault, but if you leave now Cas... You can't come back okay? You can't."

That stopped him. Cas could either have Dean. The Dean that broke his heart, that messed him around, that he couldn't trust. Or he could loose Dean forever. There wasn't a doubt in mind which one he was going to choose.

So as he stood still he felt Dean wrap his arms around him and hold him him tight as the tears he had been holding back for weeks spilled, clutching on the the guy he loves, arms.


End file.
